Welcome back to our next installment of the Back Jacket Hack-Job. I decided to take a hack at my book club’s selected title for the month --- You by Caroline Kepnes. I really enjoyed this book, so don’t let my hack turn you away from reading it!
I have been waiting 264 days and 1 year for you to pick up this book. There is no need for you to look over your shoulder. You won’t see me. But I am watching you, waiting to see what you will do.
You could buy this book.
If you do, then I will let you be. I will pass judgment on you as you check out, but that is all. You have done what I wanted, so be on your way with your weak and impressionable mind. You are not worthy of my time.
However, you could put it back on the shelf and walk away.
Now, you have become interesting. You have earned my attention. The kind of attention you will receive depends on what you do after you put this book back on the shelf.
If you walk out of the store without a purchase, I will resent you for wasting my time. I will remember what you look like, how you smell, how you breathe. I will not forget you, and I will wait patiently until you return.
If you put this book back on the shelf and select an inferior book, I will be forced to educate you. I will lock you in the cage, and you will read a selection of my choosing. Then I will test you. You don’t want to find out what will happen if you fail my test.
Finally, there is a small chance you will put this book back in favor of one that is far superior. A book the majority of the people who walk into this bookstore would never be able to comprehend. But you . . . you have selected it, and that means you are special. You will earn my undivided attention. I will invade your life, both physically and virtually. I will eliminate anything that holds you down. I will continue to lurk in your shadow until you surrender to me.
Now it is time for you to decide. My plans for the evening depend on your actions, so choose wisely.