A Post By JonathanI think we may have skipped our last Eeek! Put Some Pages Up For Critique Reoccurring Segment so I figured I'd take a crack at it. Only this time it's a synopsis. My brain literally hurts from working on this thing all day. It is the first synopsis I've written so I wanted to hopefully get some feedback before I submit it. I hear these things are supposed to be under 600 words and mine is 599, so if you're suggesting adding stuff please also suggest taking something away:) I'm submitting it on June 20th for this one day open submission event with Pushkin Press. If there are any other MG or Children's authors out there, I highly suggest you look into it.
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment!
Twelve-year-old MAC MAGELLAN has been shipped off to Space Camp in Huntsville, Alabama for the third summer in a row. Having zero interest in junior astronaut training, he sneaks off to work on his fast ball as often as possible. He is playing baseball with his friends when a meteor crash lands at a nearby military base. Mac and his best friend NEIL IKEHEART decide to inspect the downed space rock, but are stopped by soldiers before they can reach it. Mac is returned to Space Camp, but Neil is held back for questioning. Neil returns a few hours later to tell Mac that the meteor has been moved to a secret hangar. Then Mac gets a rare phone call from his absentee astronaut parents, warning him to stay away from the meteor. Realizing something must be up, he convinces Neil to help him sneak into the military base to get a closer look.
As they’re breaking in, Mac and Neil run into ROMIE KIRKOWITZ, a fellow Space Camper who is also hoping to see the meteor. Reluctantly, the three of them work together to locate it. When Mac finally lays a hand on the meteor he is zapped inside. Moments later, a robot appears on the ceiling telling Mac that by entering the transport pod he has accepted an invitation to the Gathering of Galaxies and will be leaving Earth now. Overcome with fear and disbelief, Mac demands the robot let him go, but it refuses. As the pod begins its escape, it nearly rolls over Neil and Romie, forcing Mac to bring them aboard.
After exiting Earth’s atmosphere, the pod speeds through the Milky Way and flies into the Eye of Jupiter. The portal takes Mac, Neil and Romie to Galaxy Camp, where a massive meeting of peaceful extraterrestrials is underway. Mac is greeted by SIX THE SATURNIAN who reveals he sent the pod to Earth to retrieve him because he is the first Earthling born in outer space, which means he is Starborn and worthy of an invitation to the Gathering of Galaxies. Eventually, Mac learns that Six is telling the truth, bringing Mac’s entire existence into question. Without much of a choice in the matter, Mac and friends decide to stay at Galaxy Camp until the unspecified conclusion of the gathering.
Mac is just starting to enjoy learning about other worlds through Life On Other Planets Sessions (L.O.O.P.S.) when Six tells him he thinks he is the Last Starborn— the one who will put an end to the Devourers’, an ancient evil born of black holes, efforts to wipe out the Starborn and destroy Galaxy Camp. Six is still trying to convince Mac of his destiny when the Solar Corps, a band of mercenaries famous for battling the Devourers, arrives claiming they have come to protect Galaxy Camp. After some investigation, he learns that the Solar Corps are in league with the Devourers and that they have alerted them to Galaxy Camp’s location.
After warning the other Gatherers, Mac goes to Galaxy Camp’s main power source and is surprised to find it only responds to him. Galaxy Camp is on the verge of being destroyed when, with Neil and Romie’s help and Six’s sacrifice, Mac shuts it down. This activates the Gatherers’ personal escape pods, sending everyone home safely, and leaves a baseball-sized Galaxy Camp in Mac’s safe keeping. Thanks to a time portal, Mac and friends get back in time for Space Camp graduation. Mac no longer thinks outer space is boring—and he plans to have a very long conversation with his parents.