Tropes in Movies that Drive me Crazy

Perfect Bodies

 

So obviously, there is a typical body type in most movies and TV shows. For women, it is a lean figure with a flat stomach and nice curves. For men, it is a muscular, ruggedly handsome look. Hollywood is to blame for a lot of the issues surrounding people's views of their own bodies. These looks are rarer among everyday people. People come in a variety of shapes and sizes, but it seems only one body type gets to have adventures, fight bad guys, and save the world. The only time I see heavier or average looking folks as a lead is in comedies where their looks are often played up for laughs.

Is it so much to ask that we have an average looking person as the main character in a movie without the role centering on the fact that they are not ripped and perfect? Can we have someone like Jonah Hill or Rebel Wilson as a lead in a serious flick that has nothing to do with how they look?

Robotic Horses

 

As an animal lover, the way horses are portrayed on screen has always bothered me. Unless it's a movie that's about horses specifically, they are usually seen as mindless modes of transportation that don't act natural. I'm talking about zero reactions to loud explosions or gunfire, and the willingness to just be ridden by random strangers who steal them from their riders. A real horse isn't going to just stand there while chaos enfolds around them. They also whinny and neigh way too much in films. Real horses don't make that much noise.

Disposable Henchmen

Ah, the old disposable henchman, just there to get killed. Henchmen in movies are fodder and nothing more. Even if they are in legions with the bad guy, these people are still people. They form relationships with each other during training, yet they are never mourned by their comrades when they get killed by the way the good guys do. There is zero character development in the average henchman. I know this is because we are supposed to focus on the main characters, but I still would like to see a little more reaction to them getting picked off.

Non-Devastating Injuries

Random cuts and bruises are always conveniently located somewhere on the main character that won't interfere or distract from the story. You can't honestly expect me to believe that after a big fight scene where the main guy is getting repeatedly punched, stabbed, kicked, thrown, and shot isn't going to have his face swollen shut and be able to continue saving the day without being slowed up a little. A bullet through and through is not something I expect even the toughest hero to be able to walk off. They also can take a beating to the face without losing any teeth, which is downright ridiculous. I'm looking at you, John Wick.

The Head Tilt

 

This is mostly a horror movie trope. Whenever the monster, alien, or supernatural being appears before attacking someone, they always do this slow, calculating head tilt that drives me crazy. When did we decide to start doing this? I've seen it in so many movies, that I can predict it every time. 

The Final Girl

 

Another horror movie trope is that there will always be one character left to tell the tale, and it's usually a woman. She's typically the smartest or most innocent one, and her survival leaves room for a sequel.I get it, but I'd like to see more than one person survive a horror movie. It shouldn't always be a female either. Is it really hard to imagine that a handful of college kids can walk away from the spooky cabin in the woods?

Young Wife, Old Husband

 

For some reason, keeping the ages of husbands and wives close is a big no-no in most movies.You almost always see a much younger, sexier woman with an older, more grizzled man. It's a sin to show couples around the same age on screen. Part of it goes back to the whole idea that women must always look sexy and pretty in movies, while men are given a little more leeway. Though couples far apart in age isn't super rare, it's much more common to see married folk who are closer in age then Hollywood would have us believe. Also, the lead man will almost never have a wife with extra pounds on her or any sort of physical imperfections, which is a whole other argument.

Adult Teenagers

 

In all the teen movies I saw growing up, most of the characters were played by 20 and 30 somethings. They are almost always way too put together and good looking to portray how an actual 16 year old looks. No acne, no awkward bodies, no childish features. The girls in these movies also tend to dress way more provocatively then would be allowed in most schools. I got in trouble in high school for wearing a tank top, but these "teens" are often seen in short shorts and bare midriff tops that would get them sent home in a real school.

Basic Hygiene

    

Come on, do you really expect me to believe that a character with no access to hot showers and razors is going to have great hair and shaved legs when they've been traveling or running for weeks on end? This is a common one in movies and shows set in medieval type landscapes and apocalyptic turmoil. The female characters especially never seem to get greasy, flat hair, and their legs and pits are always still smooth days and weeks after their last bath. A "dirty" character usually has no more than a few smears of soot on their face and some rumpled clothing. Once again, the sin of showing a woman as anything less than perfect shows it's not so ugly face. You don't see this as much with male characters, as the rough and tumble look seems to be more acceptable, but just once I'd like to see a female with un-plucked eyebrows, hairy legs, and rat's nest hair stumble onto the screen after she's just spent months running from zombies. Who has the time to look this good at the end of the world?