Thursday, April 29, 2021

'Exotic Birds': Not a Bird Book


For an ornithological textbook, 'Exotic Birds' really misses the mark. It made me look like a huge idiot in front of my birding club, and for that, it lost a whole star on Amazon.

The book opens with a short introductory on each species and it's foraging and mating habits. The species known as 'Jack Whittmeyer' seems to have an affinity for fermented nectar, which often gets it into trouble with it's mate. The Jack has a colorful plumage, and it's vulgar vocalizations are gritty, but oddly poetic. It's sister species, the 'Megan Whittmeyer', shares a similar vocal range, through it's focus is mainly nest building through long work days and concentration on self-reliance. The two birds seem to tolerate, though not necessarily enjoy each other's company, though the Jack is especially good at causing the Megan to screech in annoyance at it's brother species' antics.

Several other species are mentioned in the book, one of which being the 'Erin Rankin', a small, timid creature which enjoys mimicry of other species. The 'Elliot Greenfield' is also mentioned, and is a bold member of the peacock family, bent on finding as many females to mate with as possible. The drab 'Dave Peterson' is a quiet, unassuming with an affinity toward nest building. 

All of these birds flock together for an annual migration to Atlantic City, but in the course of this study, there is an unexpected event. The 'Megan' disappears from their flock, and the remaining birds actually set out to find it, deterring their migration from Atlantic City all the way to Ecuador to follow the path of an unknown species simply known as 'X', which is responsible for the disappearance.

During their adventures, the five birds find themselves being stalked by predators, baring the elements, and fighting amongst themselves as they search for the 'X' and a way back to their own terratory.

As an unconventional bird book, there is something for everyone here, although I would not recommend bringing it to your birding club. You've got comedy, romance, and adventure wrapped up into one package called 'Exotic Birds.' 

Find it on Amazon as a paperback, Kindle, or audiobook. You can also visit the author's page at 

Yeah, you got me. This is my book. And no, it isn't actually about birds. This is a novel that took me over 15 years to perfect, and it's my personal favorite. Might I also add that there is a sequel by the name of 'Solve for X.' 

Check it out, if you so desire, and stay weird.

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