Monday, November 11, 2019

Back Jacket Hack-Job: WINDBORN

A post by Mary Fan

Hey everyone! My turn to do a Back Jacket Hack-Job! For those of you who are new, this is one of our recurring features, where one of us picks a book and makes gobbledygook out of its back cover description. When it’s been my turn, I’ve typically picked on my own books because, well, I feel a little bad picking on anyone else’s. So far, I’ve done Artificial Absolutes, Starswept, Edge of Evil, and Stronger Than A Bronze Dragon. So basically, all my series starters and/or standalones.

Well guess what? I have another series starter coming out in February! So, in keeping with tradition… WINDBORN, first of the Fated Stars books, it’s your turn in the Back Jacket Hack-Job hot seat! *cracks knuckles*

Being an air nymph sucks. As in, if you leave your enchanted forest, it will literally suck the life out of you, as Kiri’s finding out the hard way. She’s got seven days to get her butt home, or the life will be completely sucked out of her. Except she can’t because she’s been trapped by dark magicians, who are determined to suck the magic out of her so they can use it for themselves. And meanwhile they’ve cast a curse on her so she can’t even use her powers. Or remember where her enchanted forest is. Or recall anything about her life before waking up in their dungeon.

Yeah, being an air nymph – especially  this air nymph – really sucks.

Anyway, that’s her in the background of the cover, giving you the side-eye because she knows you’ll enjoy reading her story more because her life sucks. I mean, how boring would it be if the whole book was about her life being safe and normal. Which is how she felt too back when her life was safe and normal. She kind of had a Little Mermaid thing going on… “I wanna be where the people aaaaare…” and, like any headstrong teenager, decided the thing to do was to ignore the rules and sneak out. She’s probably regretting her choices right about now.

So who are the other two people on the cover, then? Well, the guy on the left is Darien, and he’s the dark magicians’ teenaged apprentice. Poor kid had no idea what he was getting into – he just wanted to learn magic so he could help people and find his purpose and maybe save the world someday. You know, hero’s journey stuff. But it’s kind of had to do the hero’s journey thing when fate has stuck you in the decidedly not heroic role of serving people who kidnapped a girl and are holding her against her will. Fortunately, he realizes that his masters are evil and decides to do the hero thing and break Kiri out. Unfortunately, he’d sworn a life oath to them, and breaking it means they’re going to spend the rest of the book trying to kill him.

The girl on the right is Arrin, a teenaged indentured servant who also decides that rules are for losers and therefore she’s going to run away. Because completing a 20-year contract working for a noblewoman doesn’t seem like the thing to do when you’re getting prophecies about the end of the world. Knowing that no one will believe her, Arrin takes it upon herself to keep her visions from coming true. She knows the dark magicians are involved somehow and goes on a journey to find out just what they’re up to… and runs right into Kiri and Darien. Of course, dark magicians don’t like being spied on, and noblewomen don’t like it when their indentured servants run away. So she’s got people chasing her too.

In conclusion, this book should probably have been titled THREE MAGIC TEENAGERS BREAKING THE RULES AND RUNNING FOR THEIR LIVES.

And there’s some end-of-the-world type stuff involved too – an ancient evil rising, dark prophecies manifesting, signs of the apocalypse… you know, typical teenager issues when you live in an epic fantasy world.


Kimberly G. Giarratano said...

Making fun of one's own book is an art.

Karissa Laurel said...

It's funny that the "hack job" makes me want to read your books more than the real blurbs. Ha ha ha!

Jonathan Schramm said...

I see you, Mary Fan! The world sees you! I agree with Karissa-- I haven't read the real back jacket, but the hack job is great sell for your book! *goes out and buys a copy now*

Cheers! Miss you guys. Hope all is well!

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