Thursday, September 1, 2016

I'm Attached to Summer Like Fat to a Belly



The fall semester is officially launched, but like fat to a belly, I remain staunchly attached to the remnants of summer. I refute the evidence like a seasoned lawyer even though my pigment is in an all-out fade.  According to Newsweek it is time to ditch the bikini shave, trash the Tory Burch flip flops, and tuck those skimpy Danskin Active shorts in the bottom drawer. I’m in such a snit over the shifting sun, the dog has decided to avoid me, and saunters out of the room like some canine elitist. We’ll see how that attitude holds up to an empty food bowl. I’m lounging on the couch refusing to acquiesce to a stack of papers in need of grading with my arm draped dramatically over my forehead. When the hell did I become such a drama queen? I wine (I prefer this version of the word) to the empty room as the wind slides through the open window and sends my calendar, papers, and lists fluttering to the hardwood floor. 

I casually glance down at the calendar now open to December and realize in 114 days it will be Christmas. I really need to order that florescent light that relieves anxiety and figure out google calendar. My dog decides to rest on my insuperable pile of papers. I see the grocery list peeking out from under his belly as he slobbers on my list of resolutions (none of which have been resolved), and slaps my lengthy to-do list with his tail. The list of students I’ve yet to memorize lands at my feet. Complete fail. I need my therapist, but like the sparrow, she migrated to Florida. Hello, I have issues. 


Did I mention Mary will be giving birth to the Christ child in 114 days? I decide to pretend it is still summer and attempt to fish my flip flops out of the kitchen garbage. Maybe I should listen to an Oprah meditation, I have several downloaded on my iPhone, and yes it calms me to know they are there even if I never actually meditate. I’m starting to hyperventilate over Christmas lights, black Friday, and whether or not the Amazon drone will be able to find my house. Not that I care, but our robotic reindeer had a thing for inflatables, and took off with the neighbor’s snowman last year. Who am I to judge?

Just when I’m about to leap off the proverbial cliff I hear a car in the drive. I peek through the kitchen window because if it’s a Jehovah Witness I just might join. But no, like a pro basketball player I toss those flip flops back in the can, and sprint to the front door screaming, “There is a God!” It’s my sister Nancy sauntering up the drive, a steaming Starbucks in each hand, she comes bearing gifts like a wise woman. Welcome back pumpkin spiced white mochas, good-bye annoying tan lines, and thank you God for belly fat that keeps it real.

Have you fallen out of summer yet? Do tell...

Haven't had enough? CherylOreglia.blogspot.com

12 comments:

  1. It's hard to believe that it's September already! I am looking forward to pumpkin desserts tho. =)

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    1. Hi Leandra - I am flabbergasted that September has squashed my summer and kicked me into the fall but I do love the cooler weather. Thank you so much for reading and responding. Here's to pumpkin pie and cobbler! Read on...

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  2. Great inaugural post, Cheryl! Personally, I gave up my bikini a while ago, but other than that I definitely feel you on the sun setting of the sunniest of sunny seasons. Then again, I do love me some sweater weather and the changing of the leaves. I guess, before we know it, summer will be back in full force! One of my biggest pet peeves is how the advertisers always seem to feel the need to remind us that the season is indeed changing. If it wasn't for TV I probably wouldn't realize that summer was ending until the temp drops. Thanks for sharing!

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  3. Hi Jonathan - Thanks so much for your kind words and astute observations on how quickly the seasons pass. I was visiting my son in Australia recently, and although it was the height of summer in California, Aussie was in the middle of winter. It was tough packing for winter in the middle of a sweltering July. You must live where the seasons are mild? Read on...

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  4. I'm not a pumpkin spice fan (I know, I know! But I DO love a good gingerbread latte.) and I live in NW England where it can feel quite fall-like even in the middle of July, but I do love digging my boots out and having a fire in the fireplace at night. I always associate end of summer with the start of a new season of TV and back to school, both of which I'm ready for!

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    1. Hi Brenda - Thanks for reading and leaving a few thoughts. I love the way boots and fires make me feel, cozy, hungry, warm. The end of summer means coming back to reality for me and I'm never ready!

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  5. I effing hate winter, but I love fall and fall ushers in winter like the the four horsemen. Fun post!

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    1. Ha Ha Kimberly - Winter can be taxing on the soul but fall is lush with possibilities! Thanks for reading and your kind words.

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  6. Welcome on board, Cheryl!! Love the post! Usually I hate the end of summer (because it makes it feel like the year has disappeared on me), but this year, I'm weirdly ready for September (it's been a long and weird summer). Fall has always been my favorite season, and I am so ready for pumpkin spice EVERYTHING :-)

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    1. Thank you Mary! I'm feeling the love today. What a warm welcome from this community. The fall is rushing in, I'm stocking up on coffee and chocolate. I'm Swedish, that should explain a lot. Thanks reading and responding.

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  7. Great post, Cheryl, and welcome to the blog! I'm a fall weather girl myself, but it never seems to last long enough. According to Hobby Lobby, it's already Christmas!

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    1. Thank you Carrie for the warm welcome. Christmas is coming ready or not. I just saw a retailer setting up a holiday display! Makes me anxious. Thanks for reading.

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