Thursday, September 22, 2016

Back Jacket Hack Job # 13: THE GREAT INTERRUPTION by Jay Wilburn

Another quality post brought to you by Steve!  (Not Aaron, damn it.  Steve.)
amazon.com/author/kozeniewski
Hey, everybody!  It feels like forever since I've done a Back Jacket Hack-Job.  You remember what those are, right?  You can brush up on the concept back on the introductory post and if you're of a mind to, you can even reach out to us to submit your own.

But the short version is that we, your ATB team, are setting out to write the sort of terrible back cover copy that somehow, bafflingly, makes its way onto the backs of real books sometimes, but is mostly an object of humor and derision.  And speaking of objects of humor and derision, Jay Wilburn and his latest release, THE GREAT INTERRUPTION are up today.  And now to explain why.

https://www.amzn.com/B01KSP5XVC/

Jay Wilburn is a terrible man.

When I was seventeen it was a very good year.  Unfortunately, the same description can never be used for Jay Wilburn.  Nothing he says or does will ever be considered "good."  Not by the literati.  Not by the illuminati.  Not even by the great unwashed masses.  And here's why:

Jay Wilburn is a terrible man.

When Jay Wilburn was born, he punched his mother on the way out, then spit in the face of the OBGYN who delivered him.  I say "OBGYN" but the truth is it was a rabid coyote.  A rabid coyote delivered that man into this world.  And that's just one of the reasons why:

Jay Wilburn is a terrible man.

When Jay Wilburn turned twelve, he had already been voted the ugliest man in Macon, Georgia, which is really saying something as he never set foot outside of Santa Fe.  In sixth grade science class he discovered the unified field theory which physicists have been striving for since time immemorial, only to immediately set it ablaze in a Bunsen burner, quote, "for the lulz."  Just two more reasons why:

Jay Wilburn is a terrible man.

Perhaps worst of all, he's decided to foist his thoughts onto the world in the form of books.  Books like this one.  I haven't read it.  I haven't even read the back of it.  I certainly haven't added it to my TBR pile.  You know what I would add to my TBR pile first?  Every book.  Literally every other book ever written, including manifestos by tin foil-hatted Misericordians.  Is it because the book is terrible?  No.  Is it because it's expensive?  Hell no.  It's free for Kindle Unlimited users.  It's just that free is too damn much to pay for anything to support that cowardly blackguard.  I've said it before and I'll say it again:

Jay Wilburn is a terrible man.

4 comments:

  1. All these hack jobs do is tempt me to read the actual books. I think they're a selling feature, which defeats the purpose.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, when we're hacking friends, heroes, and ourselves I think that's going to be a side effect. It seems a little mean-spirited to hack up something that's genuinely bad. No need to kick a poor author while he's down.

      Delete
  2. Can I assume you know this person and he lost a bet to you, so you got to write this? (Now that I've said that, I really hope that is the case!)

    ReplyDelete

 
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