Happy Veterans Day!

As the resident reader, I skimmed my Goodreads list to see which books I could recommend in honor of Veterans Day. However, it appears military books don't fall within my niche. In fact, the last book I read with a form of military was Prodigy, book two in Marie Lu's Legend trilogy. And the last book I read with a realistic (as opposed to the aforementioned dystopia) veteran was one of the Jack Reacher novels by Lee Child, read before I fell into Young Adult reading. I can say, though, that I listened to parts of both Band of Brothers and Beyond Band of Brothers by Stephen E. Ambrose as the Baron listened to them. Those, I would recommend.

In any case, I'd still like to wish all those who serve or have served a happy Veterans Day. Without you, I probably wouldn't have as much time as I do to read or the freedom to read and write what I want.

So thank you.

How to Write a Book Review in 4 Easy Steps

Ah, book reviews. As a reader, I have a love-hate relationship with book reviews. For most of the books I read, I only look at a handful of reviews prior to reading. And those I do read are usually the 1 and 2 star reviews. If there is consistency in the negative reviews—poorly written/edited, clichéd plot, incomplete ending—then I think twice before reading. If the negative reviews are random or about things not important to me—such as the author using too many swear words—then I will likely jump in and read the book. I then go back and read several reviews, both positive and negative, after I finish the book to see how the views of other readers compare to my own. I especially like doing this for a book that I’ve read outside of my book club. Although it’s not a two way discussion, it sort of feels like a virtual book club review!

I love reviews because many times someone else’s analysis helps me process my own thoughts and feelings. It also helps me determine if I should take a chance on an author who I haven’t read before. I hate them because often people leave spoilers, gripe about things that are not essential to the book, or use it as a venue to berate the author.

As a fairly new indie author, it doesn’t matter how I feel about reviews. I need them—it’s that simple. As I mentioned above, I use reviews for authors who are new to me to determine if it’s worth my time and money to invest in one of their books. I’m confident that I’m not alone in this practice. I’m still building my reader platform, and reviews help me connect with readers who have never heard of me. The challenge is that only a small percentage of readers will leave a review. That means if I want reviews then I have to ask some people to do something they’ve never done before. As a result, I’ve had several readers tell me that they’d like to leave a review but didn’t know how to write one.

Luckily, that’s a problem I can help solve.

4 Easy Steps for Writing a Book Review

1) Read the book.

I know, I know. Sounds like this might be something you’d hear from Mr. Obvious. The unfortunate reality is that it needs to be said. Never, ever, review a book you haven’t read. Don’t leave a 5-star review because you love the cover, because the author is a friend/family member and therefore it must be fabulous, or because you have loved all of the authors other books and consequently you just know you will love this book too before you’ve even purchased it. Also, book reviews are not favors. If an author asks you to review a book without reading it first, just remember that it’s your integrity on the line.

2) Be honest.

Similar to my first point, it seems that this should go without saying. However, the pressure is sometimes there to rate/review a book higher than you want. Maybe you know the author and you don’t want to hurt his or her feelings. Maybe all the other reviews are glowing and you don’t want to be the one to go against the grain. Try to resist the pressure. It truly is better for both the readers and the author if you’re honest in your review.

3) Be respectful.

In this world of technology, it’s easy to forget that we’re not just talking to our computer screens when we post something on a public page. There are ways to respectfully say that a book is poorly written. You should simply say, “The book was poorly written, with several mistakes.” That will go over much better than, “The author is an illiterate idiot who has no business writing books. Stay away from this foul smelling piece of crap.” Remember that a review is in your words, so it reflects upon you just as much as it does the product you are reviewing.

4) Keep it simple.

I’m assuming that most of you are not looking to become book bloggers. If I’m wrong in that assumption, then you will need to create more in-depth reviews—here’s an article that will help you get started. But for the vast majority of you, a simple review will be sufficient.

I’ll start with the rating. Most book review sites require a rating (usually 5 stars, with 5 being the highest) along with the review. The simplest way to rate a book is to first identify the one book you’ve read that you love more than any other. That’s your 5 star benchmark. Then identify the book you liked the least. That’s your 1 star benchmark. From there, compare each book you read to those two books to determine its rating.

For the actual review, the simplest approach is to focus on how the book made you feel. Did it make you happy, sad, angry, frustrated, hot and bothered, confused, irritated, entertained, scared, hopeful . . . You get the idea. Once you identify how the book made you feel, base your review around that emotion. A simple and effective way to write a review is to answer these three questions:

• 1st Sentence: How did it make you feel?
• 2nd Sentence: Why did it make you feel that way?
• 3rd Sentence: Who would you recommend this book to?

Here are two examples from books I’ve recently read using this approach. One I loved and one I thought was only OK.

Example 1: I thought this book was amazing and it really made me think about how we live our lives. The author’s unique approach to the storyline introduced a diverse view into how our environment affects who we are as people. I’d recommend this book to anyone looking for a thought-provoking read.

Example 2: I enjoyed several parts of this book, but the ending killed it for me. I personally felt the ending was far reaching and the characters resolved their issues rather quickly. It wasn’t a bad book, so you might want to check it out if you enjoy historical fiction and family dynamics.

Pretty simple, right? If you want to go into more detail, that’s perfectly fine. You might want to comment on the writing style, the characters, the flow, etc.

Finally, two things you should not include in your review:

• If the author is a family member/friend/friend of the family, don’t mention it in the review. Not for the purpose of hiding it, but because it will discredit your review. If you read the book then you have a right to review it. And if you’re following step #2 (be honest) then it shouldn’t matter if you have a connection to the author or not.
• Try your best to not give spoilers. Many review sites have a feature where you can hide spoilers. Use this feature if you feel you can’t give a review without disclosing some of the plot twists. If there is no spoiler feature available (such as on Amazon) the put at the top of your review, “This review contains spoilers.”

I’ve focused on fiction novels in this post (since that’s what I write), but these same steps can be applied to non-fiction as well. You’ll just have to add a bit more around the validity of the topic and approach.

Now, go out and review a book!

~ Carrie

Eek! Put Some Pages Up for Criteek!

I know I'm one of the resident readers here at Across the Board, but I also write and asked to be added into the rotation for the Eek! segment Jonathan started. 

I have been playing around with Revealed, my dual-narrative YA sci-fi-ish WIP, for the better part of five years and I finally feel like I'm getting closer to where I want it to be. Here's a blurb: 

A secret society of special abilities, the Order, becomes unbalanced when Jaycen Towle acts on his desire to use the gift he was born with to become a superhero. Cara Wallace, a gifted outsider, is sucked into Jaycen’s world when she discovers his secret and believes the Order may have answers about the parents she barely knew. But are the Order’s answers really worth the shattering they cause both Cara and Jaycen?

Now that you know what you're getting yourself into, here's the first chapter for you to help me make better. 

Jaycen

Trevor’s attempted screams were muffled by the gag in his mouth, but I still cringed at the sound. I hated this game of harvesting a gift. I hated Brian for dragging me into this--to cover his own indiscretions, of course--and Trevor for agreeing to spill his blood in the first place, even if he would heal quickly. The blood would be flowing and soon it would be over.

            To distract myself I racked my brain for a way to reach out to Cara, to get her to reveal herself to me so I could reciprocate. There was nothing I could do until she made the first move unless I wanted to break the rules. The brick walls that lined the narrow way were like a reminder of their constraint on my life. 

            As if in reaction to my thoughts, there was movement at the opening of the dark alley. I wasn’t worried--I was shielding to keep us from being detected--but my shield faltered with the adrenaline rush when I recognized those auburn curls. What were the odds that Cara Wallace, the one person I couldn’t stop thinking about, would happen down the same alley I was to be guarding? 

            Crap. It was obvious from her look that she spotted us. Brian appeared by my side and muttered something as the lightbulb affixed to the side of the building went out with a pop. In the span of those few pitch black seconds, instead of fortifying our protection, I made a rash decision, one I would pay for later. I took the first step. This was the revelation. I was inviting her into my world.

***

Cara

            The light in the alley was out, bringing about the eerie realization that I had turned too soon. That somehow made the pounding of my heart seem much louder in my ears. I felt them just before I saw them. The spike of anxiousness, surprise, irritation, and pain ambushed me simultaneously. These weren’t just the feelings of one person. No, the gruesome image revealed four people, all staring at me with mixed expressions of anger and mischief. I threw my hand over my mouth to stifle a gasp and noted the new location of my stomach in my throat. One of them bled from where his arm used to be and I had no idea how he was still standing. Oh, please let him still be standing.

            Before I could process what sort of trick my brain was playing on me, a buzzing crack relit the light in the alley. The four guys, who I recognized from our small town school, had moved closer in the dark to where I stood frozen, though one hung back cautiously. My wide eyes darted between their defensive stances and I counted appendages. All arms were correctly placed, but there was a visible puddle glinting in the dim light of the dead end alley. My throat tightened. I didn’t want to think about what that was.

I took an automatic step backwards toward the sound of cars back on the street I should still be on. My heart tried to beat out of my chest and for the first time, I was so overwhelmed by my own emotions that I couldn’t pick up on anyone else’s. The raven-haired guy in the middle flinched before taking a step towards me.

“You look lost,” he said. Brian James. That was his name. I might have been mistaken, but I thought he had a faint grin on his face. I focused on him and his irritation washed over me, even though his sharp features remained relaxed.

I cleared my throat, swallowing the scream that wanted so badly to escape. “You’re right. I think I got too wrapped up in my book and took the wrong turn.” I waved my e-reader like a white flag. Another step backwards followed by another step forward by Brian. He glanced at Trevor Quade and Marcus Sandusky standing to his right, who nodded in response before stepping towards me as well. The fourth guy held back. I tried to catch his eye in a weak plea for help, but a shadow masked his face. 

            “Don’t leave yet,” Brian called. “We want to talk to you for a minute.” Yes, he definitely had a Cheshire Cat grin on his face.

            I took a deep breath to steady myself. “Look, I didn’t see anything. I’ll be on my way. This never happened.” I held my gloved hands up in a shaky gesture, nearly dropping my device.

The guys stopped marching forward, so I started to turn. A hand grasped my left arm and I wheeled around to see who had a hold on me. I couldn’t decide whether or not I was thankful for the thick sweater creating a barrier against Brian’s thoughts as he towered over me. At this proximity, though, I felt him as if I were experiencing his emotions first hand. There was a devious air about him. 

            “I said we need to talk.” He pronounced each syllable fully as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and turned me to walk back the way we came. The sounds behind me faded and the alley suddenly represented one of those caves people disappeared into and never came back.

My heart pounded.

The fourth guy, whose face I could see once we were closer, was still standing where he had stopped. Jaycen Towle kept silent, but I could feel his contemplative state. Fierce blue eyes met mine and he held my gaze. Please don’t let them hurt me, please don’t let them hurt me, I thought over and over again, willing him to hear me.

            “It will be OK,” Jaycen said, still several feet away. The guys around me didn’t seem to hear this. I glanced at them nervously and then back at Jaycen in time to catch his wink. “Brian, let her go,” he said firmly. Brian stood straighter and Trevor and Marcus glanced between them, obviously hearing him this time.  

            “No way. We have to handle this, Jay.” Brian’s hold on me tightened and a whimper rushed out of my mouth. 

            Jaycen took a step forward. “That isn’t your job and you know it.” He looked at me briefly. When he looked back at Brian and friends, his pale brows were furrowed in concentration. All of a sudden, Brian yelped. He released me, placing his hands out in front of himself to swat the empty air. The other two followed suit, stumbling as if they were blind, while I stared, confused, at the scene before me. 

            Jaycen grabbed my gloved hand and pulled me away. “Come on,” he said. We took off in an awkward run with him dragging me. When we reached the mouth of the alley, he pulled me left and guided me towards a dirt-colored truck at the curb. Without asking where we were going, I climbed inside and slammed the door behind me, shoving the lock down with a shaky hand. Relief washed over me as Jaycen’s door closed and he thrust the keys into the ignition. He threw the truck into drive and pulled away from the curb just as his friends appeared in my side view mirror. 

 His truck bumped along the road in silence. My mind raced, dodging the things I wasn’t ready to think about and dancing around the things I was. So many questions slapped me in the face at once. I wasn’t even sure where to start, but I was overwhelmed with the tense emotional atmosphere and couldn’t stand the silence anymore. “I live on Oak Street,” I mumbled. He maneuvered the truck accordingly.

“You didn’t have to do that, you know.” I wanted to make it very clear that it was his choice to step in. I didn’t want to feel like I owed him anything, though I couldn’t help but feel like I did. “Stand up to your friends, I mean.”

He sighed, not a happy sound at all. “I know,” he said with furrowed brows, as if realizing this for the first time. His emotions shocked me. He was so conflicted. “Trust me, I’ll pay the price for it.” I stared at him for a moment, not sure how to respond. He looked over at me with a quick shift of his ice blue eyes. “Don’t worry about it, okay? I’ll be fine.” His voice was reassuring, but I was still hesitant.

I cocked my head to the side out of curiosity. “Is this...um, whatever you were doing…why you keep to yourself? I mean, to your group?” I thought about all the times I had seen him at school with his friends. And trust me, I had seen him. They seemed to operate as a small diverse community, not allowing new people into their loop and never kicking anyone out.

He chuckled and the sound sent something fluttering inside me. “Could be.” He seemed happier as he looked in my direction again. “So what’s your secret then?”

He caught me off guard, so I looked away. “I don’t have a secret. Why would you assume I have a secret?” I fumbled my hands in my lap.

“Well, you’re not exactly a party animal, are you? I mean, any time I see you, you’re reading on that thing.”

I blushed as I stroked the e-reader where I clutched it in my lap and he smiled. He was starting to relax, which made things more comfortable for me. “It’s a good distraction…” I muttered. His curiosity was piqued and I looked out the window with relief as we turned onto my street. “It’s that one with the red door.” I pointed out the windshield.

Jaycen put the truck in park at the curb and turned to look at me. His apprehension radiated at me, which made me feel nervous too. His blue eyes sizzled and I was lost in them for a moment waiting for him to speak. “Are your parents home?”

“Yes. I mean no. My parents are dead.” How did that spill out? “Nana’s home. I’m, uh, adopted.”

His eyebrows rose into his sandy hair, accompanied by a weird jolt of excitement, but he didn’t say anything else.

Clearing my throat, I mumbled, “Thanks for the ride and...stuff.” 

He nodded and as I reached for the door handle, the same anxious spike I had felt from him earlier filled the truck now. But all he said was, “I’ll see you around. Be careful.”

I scrambled to exit the truck and jogged to my front door, ready to dismiss this whole weird evening. Listening for the truck to pull away, I fiddled with the keys, but it idled there. I turned to wave as the lock clicked and then stepped inside. Once the door was closed, his truck rumbled away, and I leaned against the door for a moment to catch my breath.

“Is that you?” Nana called from her craft room down the hall. I breathed in the familiar scent of home and safety, relaxing at the sound of her voice.

“Yes, Nana. Sorry I’m late. I got caught up on my way home from the bookstore.” I shuddered at this truth.

She chuckled, a comforting sound on a night like this. “I should have known when you missed dinner. I set a plate aside in the microwave for you. Should still be warm.”

The air buzzed the further down the hall I walked. “Thanks. I’m just going to take it up to my room. Homework, you know.” I could hear her sewing machine and knew I was safe to slip away without further elaboration.

When I got upstairs I set my plate of garlic lemon chicken, broccoli, and mashed potatoes on my nightstand and collapsed onto my neatly made bed. Squeezing my eyes shut, I let the evening play out against my eyelids. It was obvious I had witnessed something I wasn’t supposed to, but I wasn’t sure exactly what that was. Sighing, I opened my eyes and sat up to eat before my chicken was completely cold. But as I cut my first piece and lifted the fork to my mouth, my stomach clenched against the food I was about to offer it. My appetite was gone, just like any chance of sleep after such a crazy evening.

Self-Editing Checklist -- Top Ten Tips

You finished your manuscript. Yay! You're done, right? Um... not quite. Whether you're sending to a critique partner, agent or a professional editor -- no matter who your audience is once you've typed The End, self-editing can go a long way! Even after you've done all of the big-picture edits (Is my characterization consistent? What about my level of description?) a few pointed turns through your manuscript can make a huge difference.

My self-editing checklist is by no means exhaustive, but it's amazing how many of these I catch myself doing, even with multiple books under my belt!

1. Do a search for the word "just". In 98% of cases, it can -- and should -- be eliminated.
2. Check your character names. Make sure they don't all start with the same letter, otherwise they blend together. Also, make sure they're not odd and unpronounceable just for the sake of it. 
3. Search for the word "nodded". Eliminate any instances of "her head/his head" that follow.
4. Same thing with shrugged. Eliminate any instances of shoulders that follow.
5. Pay attention to dialogue tags. Says and said are so unobtrusive, they're almost invisible. Anything else (snarled, murmured, growled, etc) should be used sparingly for impact.
6. Laughed/grinned/smiled are not dialogue tags. This is a personal pet peeve of mine. Someone may, in fact, laugh when saying something, but the dialogue should end with a period, not a comma. For example: "I don't know what he was thinking." Anna laughed. 
7. Pay attention to how often your characters call each other by name when speaking. In real life, people don't do this and it makes the dialogue feel forced.
8. Beware of adverbs. Sometimes only an adverb will do. And sometimes a word substitution is all you need. She ran slowly across the field could just as easily be She jogged across the field. By the same rule, running implies speed. If your character's super fast say, She sprinted.
9. Be aware of stage directing your characters. AKA -- describing in extreme detail every movement your character is making. It may be super important to explain, Jake turned away from the bar, glanced at the jukebox and then turned back to place his empty pint glass on the gleaming wood before shuffling towards the door. But, it feels more powerful to me to say something like, Jake left his empty pint glass on the bar and shuffled towards the door, glancing at the jukebox as he passed.
10. Read it aloud. Grab a cup of tea/coffee/beer, put your feet up and start reading. There are programs that will do this for you, although the voices sound pretty robotic and you may miss nuances, so it helps to alternate between reading yourself and letting the robot read for you. It's tedious, but oh-so-helpful!

What would you add? What are your self-editing must's?

Oh, the haunted places we will go

Happy Halloween, folks! Halloween's on a Saturday this year. Whaaa? That seems weird to me.

Halloween has become kinda lame, hasn't it? Even kids nowadays miss out on the pure essence that is October 31st. You know -- going to school in your costume, walking in the Halloween parade, having a party of cupcakes and candy before heading home and climbing the walls before your parents came home to escort you trick or treating. My son isn't allowed to wear his costume to school. And in my rural area, there's so many Trunk or Treats and harvest festivals that by the time actual Halloween rolls around, everyone is costume and candy'd out. But, I digress.

In the spirit of Halloween, I thought I'd share some of America's most haunted towns. It'll be a fun, frightening trip. Off, we go.

Key West, Florida -- I'm not being specific here because the whole damn island is haunted. The Hard Rock Cafe's second-floor ladies room is supposedly haunted by a wealthy man who hung himself in, what was then, his house. *shudder*. Take a haunted ghost walk when you're there and you'll hear all the stories including Robert the Doll -- the original Chucky.

Gettysburg, Pennsylvania -- Next year, my husband and I plan on going to Gettysburg for a few days for our anniversary -- sans kids. I want to do all the spooky stuff and I can't drag my three kids, who get scared of the Minions movie, along. Gettysburg, most notable for being the sight of the bloodiest Civil War battle (over 50,000 soldiers died) and the Address, is a hot bed of paranormal activity. Maybe I can convince my husband to stay at the haunted Lightner Farmhouse, which was once a hospital for wounded soldiers.

Garnet, Montana -- This is a literal and figurative ghost town. Once a gold mining town that emptied out in the 1940s, the town is now run by the U.S. Bureau of Land Management. In fact, the government offers volunteers free housing and a food stipend in exchange for running tours and managing the site. Just don't get freaked out if you hear unexplained piano playing in Kelley's Saloon or see apparitions in the street. Apparently, the ghosts are most active in the winter.

Salem, Massachusetts -- I've been to Salem and all I remember is a lot of kitchy, witchy touristy stuff. But in 1692, 19 people were executed for being witches during the Salem Witch Trials. It's reported that Gallows Hill, the site where many of the 19 were hanged, is haunted with the souls of the condemned. 

Athens, Ohio -- Ohio, a nice Midwestern town, and home to Ohio University and Athens Lunatic Asylum. The Asylum which operated from 1874 to 1993 is a gold mine of creepiness. The hospital performed many lobotomies in its day. Now owned by the university, students report lots of ghostly sightings including seeing faces in the windows and floating figures in the graveyards.

Have you ever been to a haunted city? Where? Give us all the spooky details.

Wimps Can Enjoy Scary Books Too!

If you're like me and scared of pretty much anything that goes bump-in-the-night, then Halloween might not be your favorite holiday. (But the fact that there's free candy and dressing up saves this holiday from being ranked dead last for me.) I hate being scared, I'm not a fan of horror movies, and I'm terrified of the dark and of spiders (both of which are pretty much synonymous with All Hallows Eve). And yet, I love books that are able to put me on edge. I haven't read many "traditional" horror books, but I have read a fair amount of creepy, thrilling, dark books that make you want to look over your shoulder or check under your bed. I'll call them horror-esque. And while some of them aren't considered horror, they still have that element of gore or scare, or "oh my gosh turn around it's right behind you TURN AROUND!" element to them. So here's a short list of books that I've read and liked (but aren't too scary for those wimps out there like me) that you might want to give a try:

The 5th Wave by Rick Yancey (Aliens invade! But they look like humans.)

The Andromeda Strain by Michael Crichton (People suddenly die from a mysterious cause.)

Annihilation by Jeff Vandermeer (An environmental anomaly consumes all who enter.)

Dark Places by Gillian Flynn (The only survivor of a mass killing tries to find the real killer.)

Day Four by Sarah Lotz (Cruise ship stops dead in the water. Very strange events begin to happen.)

Fiend by Peter Stenson (The only way to stave off the zombie apocalypse is with... drugs?)

Fragment by Warren Fahy (Jurrasic Park + Reality TV show)

The Girl with All the Gifts by M.R. Carey (Young girl wonders why she's hated and why people suddenly smell so tasty.)

The Hot Zone by Richard Preston (Based on real-life events of a close encounter with Ebola in the US.)

House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski (Family buys house. House reveals terrifying secrets.)

Let the Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist (Scandanavian child vampire seeks a friend.)

One Second After by William R. Forstchen (Scary-real account of what could happen after an EMP detonation.)

The Passage by Justin Cronin (Epic tale of how an immortality experiment turned most of the population into blood-thirsty killers.)

Robopocalypse by Daniel H. Wilson (Exactly what the title sounds like. AI becomes self-aware. Decides to take over.)

The Three by Sarah Lotz (Three children survive unsurvivable plane crashes. That happen at the exact same time in different parts of the world.)

World War Z by Max Brooks (A "first-hand" account of the survivors of the zombie apocalypse.)

Out of these, I'd have to say that House of Leaves is the scariest one for me. If you've never heard of it, I urge you to go to your nearest bookstore and just take a look at it. It's unique in that there are stories within stories, footnotes that go on for pages, passages that are written in spirals (literally) and more. It takes commitment to read and is certainly not for everyone. It can be very confusing at times and gives the sense of what "going mad" must feel like. It's a book that stays with the reader (I'm getting goosebumps as I think about it) and has a cult following intent on breaking a supposed code that is written within the stories. It may not sound like a horror book from my description, but it leaves you feeling extremely uneasy every time you put it down.

Have you read any of these? What are some of your favorite horror books and why? What is the scariest book you've ever read?

Happy Birthday To Us!

A Post By Jonathan

Hold the phone everybody 'cause I've got an announcement to make. Drum roll please. More cowbell! Okay, okay, that'll do. Geesh, someone really likes their cowbell... Believe it or not, Across the Board turns a year old today! That's right, cue the confetti, put on your party hats, blow your kazoos (or whatever they call those little curly horn thingies) and celebrate good times, come on!

Technically our first post was on October 6th, 2014, so we're a little late to the party, but since this is my first and only post this month, and no one else has decided to point out this enormously momentous occasion, I wanted to take my time in the spotlight to say Happy Birthday "to us!"

And, like many an awkward office party before it, I thought I'd mark our anniversary by handing out some awards (to give me some more material to work with for October, 2016, I figured I'd recognize our four founding members this year).

The Dear Leader Award: Stephen Kozeniewski

From the outside looking in, Across the Board might seem like a well oiled machine, where our eight bloggers post every Monday and Thursday without the slightest hiccup. But it takes a lot of hard work and dedication, and more than a little coordination, to keep this spiffy little writing site chug-chug-chugging along. Though he likely won't admit it, but I know my fellow Boarders would agree, the glue holding this jalopy together is none other than our dear leader, Stephen Kozeniewski.

With encouraging, weekly emails that never falter, Stephen keeps us on task and on schedule so that we're always providing quality content to our dear readers. So dear readers, thank our dear leader... I know we do.

P.S. North Korea, if you're reading this, please don't threaten to shut us down for using Kim Jung Il-like imagery. Please!

 

The Longevity Award: Kimberly G. Giarratano

 
I don't know if you knew this, Kimberly, but you have been posting longer than anyone else on the blog! Your first post (and Across The Board's second post) was on October 13th, 2014, making you the oldest person here.

Congratulations! And nice downward-facing dog, or whatever that pose is...

The Content Queen Award: Carrie Beckort

Carrie, you have posted more words on Across The Board than any other blogger. That makes you a) awesome and b) the Content Queen! Congratulations! Keep calm and post on!

P.S. I have no idea what this image has to do with being the Content Queen (though I feel like there's an Alice in Wonderland reference in there somewhere), but I just had to give it to you. You know, awkward office party and all... Anyway, enjoy the cake!

The Book Worm Award: Brianna Lebrecht

This may seem like an obvious one for our resident reader, but what awkward office party would be complete without a visit from Captain Obvious? You've definitely posted more about books than anyone else on Across The Board, Brianna, but I'm pretty sure you've read more books than any of us too. If not, what kind of resident reader would you be, huh?

Congrats and way to devour those hardbacks!


Thanks for joining me in this celebration, all. Here's to another amazing year. Now back to your cubicles!