Woe Is The Writer

Morning all. It's KGG here, coming at ya tired. It's a school day and we got home late last night because were were attending my brother-in-law's wedding! That's right. Congrats to Steven and Joe! I know you won't ever see this, but one can never have enough best wishes floating around the Internetverse.

So I'd been wracking my brain for a blog topic. There's a lot of stuff I can talk about right now that has nothing to do with books.

Vintage powder compacts.
Jumping into the workforce after being home with kids for a decade (that's a fun one).
French skincare.
Instant Pot recipes.

But, obviously, those aren't gonna fly here.

Honestly, I feel like I've used up all my publishing/writing nuggets and now I'm floundering to contribute anything to the conversation. My career seems like it's at a standstill. My agent search has petered out and I'm debating on whether I want to try again with a new book, or remain an indie. Ideally, I'd do both but that doesn't seem to be an option right now.

Do I want to start all over with a pen name? Bask in the freedom of anonymity? Start from scratch?
I don't know.

I messaged my friend the other day. "I'm having an existential writer crisis," I said. "Can you help?"

And then she listened to me bitch for an hour. Do I want to keep going the agent route when I don't have the patience needed to survive the glacial speed of traditional publishing? Do I want to self publish whatever I want without worrying about high-concept or novelty? Do I want to burn money on a marketing pyre? Do I want my work to fade into obscurity? Hell, no, on that one.

I also told her that I feel awkward posting in an indie listserv because I have nothing to say. I haven't experimented with pricing or strategized a series launch. I don't have any author income to speak of. I'm simply there wishing people good luck. I'm a lurker. Blech.

I've turned into such a whiner--like my kids except it's about the state of the industry and not about having chicken with mushroom for dinner. It's not a good look.

An author friend of mine said she wished she had started her writing career thirty years prior. It's the one thing I have on my side: time. I'm forty. Which is young, dammit. I have time to figure out how I want this to play out. What is the long game? And how can I get there?

I know I want to entertain. To my make money. To be part of the industry. To have plenty of blog content.

But how the hell do I get there and how long will it take? And most of all, will I have the fortitude to carry on when my books tank or I've burned cash on a marketing bonfire?

Feel free to chime in, preferably with your own tales of woe. I am here for it. We're all struggling and right now, this is how I can contribute. You are not alone. So lay it on me.

Zodiac Profiles for Writers - Part 1

I’m one of those people who enjoys reading my horoscope. Do I believe it in? To an extent. I do believe in cosmic connections and that we can adapt and grow based on the energy surrounding us, but I don’t necessarily buy into the theory that the stars rule our every movement.

I also think most of the zodiac profiles and character trait descriptions are pretty accurate most of the time. As a result, I thought it’d be fun to look at the zodiac profiles for each of the signs and interpret them for the writers of the world. 

Genre: An Aries writer would stand out in the post-apocalyptic genre. These fearless leaders are used to forging the path for others, and that’s the primary expectation of the hero/heroine in a world desecrated by an unknown or unexplained event.

Writing Habits: An Aries writer wants to get the job done in a quick and effective manner, preferring to be the first to market. Details are not important as long as they can pull the reader along with their captivating, and often terrifying, story-line. Once a project is complete they may look back and notice holes that should have been patched, but there are no regrets. Just deflection and possible lessons learned that will feed into the next project.

Rules: Aries writers set the tone and foundation for which all rules are based upon.

Ideal Writing Location: The Aries writer should be in a central office, surrounded by intimidating artifacts. Bookshelves line the walls with reference materials. Even though they may be coated in dust from lack of use, they are necessary as they convey a sense of authority.

Genre: The steady and reliable Taurus is the ideal series writer. The topic can vary depending on specific interests, but they have the make-up to remain steadfast to their characters/stories across numerous volumes. 

Writing Habits: The Taurus writer knows which topic will be their cash cow, and they will remain dedicated to that endeavor until they’ve milked it for all its worth. They will utilize every rule and formula to their advantage, helping them crank out their work at a speed envied by most other writers. They are likely to be ‘that author’ that readers know they can turn to when they need a book they can count on.

Rules: They want someone to explain the rules to them, and help them ensure they have delivered appropriately.

Ideal Writing Location: A cozy cafe where the aromas and ambiance can help channel their focus onto their craft.

Genre: The Gemini writer finds it difficult to stick to just one genre or type of writing project. They may also find happiness in blending multiple genres into one project. The key is to find a topic where they can channel their energy and emotions.

Writing Habits: They are constantly working on a larger project, such as a novel, while juggling a few smaller ones at the same time, such as blog posts. A scan of their computer might reveal several stalled projects that were abandoned when a new idea took hold. It may also reveal several versions of each project as they changed their mind multiple times on how to write it. Their web browser is likely to have a minimum of 20 tabs open at once as they multitask their way through the day. 

Rules: The Gemini writer will research all the rules, but only follow a few.

Ideal Writing Location: While a Gemini can write in just about any environment that promotes positive energy, they need to be cautious of writing in public locations — their social butterfly tendencies will need to be reigned in if they desire to get any work done.

Genre: A Cancer writer is likely to gravitate towards non-fiction. Whether a financial guide, a lifestyle blog, or a self-help book, these writers are often the experts in their field and have a lot of knowledge to share.

Writing Habits: Focus, focus, focus - that’s the Cancer writer’s mantra. Every topic is researched to the nth degree and efficiency is often sacrificed for accuracy. Nothing will be published until they can feel confident that 99.9999% of all errors are eradicated. 

Rules: The Cancer writer knows that rules are in place for a reason. And they know every single one of them.

Ideal Writing Location: A Cancer writer craves the comfort of their home, and they will be able to perform to their best ability by carving out a dedicated writing space that is neat and organized.

Genre: A Leo writer will flourish in the romance genre. Their heroes are likely to be strong and loyal to their fierce and feisty heroines. 

Writing Habits: They are driven to complete projects and jump right into the next one. If someone were to tell them they couldn’t write about something, they would do it anyway just to prove them wrong. The independent nature of the Leo writer would make a self-published venture a successful endeavor. 

Rules: Rules do not apply to these regal writers.

Ideal Writing Location: A Leo writer will feel most at home writing in public locations where they can be in the spotlight. Knowing people are watching them create greatness is all the fuel they need to drive a WIP to completion.

Genre: The Virgo writer’s desire to process information with meticulous detail would make for a powerful combination in the historical fiction genre. 

Writing Habits: No detail is too daunting in the life of a Virgo writer. They will take all the time necessary to get all the facts straight. They are content to take their time in completing a WIP to ensure it’s as accurate as possible. They are driven to help other writers and are often looked to for advice within the writing community.

Rules: Virgo writers not only know all the rules — across every genre and region, not just the ones that pertain to their topic — they also know how to interpret and process the rules better than anyone around them.

Ideal Writing Location: The most efficient place for Virgos to write is the library where they have access to research, research, and more research.



I’m a Gemini and I totally relate to the description above. (Let’s just ignore the fact that I wrote it for the moment…) Case in point - while writing this post I was also doing laundry, the dishes, researching for my next project, and shopping for supplies for the jewelry my daughter now has me making. And I definitely have more than 20 tabs open in my browser. That’s also why this post will be in two parts. With all my distractions, I only had time to profile half the signs. 

If you’re a writer with any of these signs, let me know in the comments how well I captured your writer persona!

~ Carrie

My Author-self is Actually a 13-year-old Drama Queen

In 7 short days I will have a teenager in the house. I’ve only got the one kid, and she only becomes a teenager once in her life, so we’re letting her have a ‘party’ party. I’m talking nearly 40 thirteen and fourteen year olds. Girls AND boys. So, yeah, I’m in the middle of party planning hell. My mind is consumed with all things teenagers. 

Which is why, yet again, my post is inspired by my kid. In the midst of all this party planning, I somehow came to the conclusion that my author personality is basically a 13-year-old girl. How? Well, I’ll give you 13 reasons . . .

My author-self:

1. Always makes the same mistakes over and over and over . . .
2. Never cleans up her messes without being told.
3. Is only productive when she wants to be, not when I need her to be.
4. Rolls her eyes whenever I think I have control of the situation.
5. Is insecure and into self-deprecation.
6. Is hormonal with mood swings from one extreme to the other.
7. Tries to sleep most of the day.
8. Thinks she will go viral overnight. Because, you know, that other author did.
9. Pays too much attention to what people are saying (or not saying) on social media.
10. Thinks listening to music and dancing around the house is the same as being productive.
11. Is hungry ALL. THE. DAMN. TIME.
12. Is more comfortable talking to people electronically than in person.
13. Is easily distracted.

Who else has a 13-year-old drama queen/king as an author personality?

~ Carrie

Get Thee A Hobby

A post by Mary Fan

Happy 2019, everyone! Mary here, and I hope you're having a more productive start to the year than I am. Because goodness knows, I haven't gotten much of anything done lately. Maybe it's the winter blues. Maybe it's a writing funk. Who knows. Whatever the cause, the fact is, I just haven't felt like writing lately. And while I know I could beat the words out of me if I had to, what emerged wouldn't be all that great (I've been through this particular cycle before).

It's easy for writing to swallow up one's life. When you're really, really into a project, it's easy to let it swallow you completely... in fact, in that moment, it's all you want to do. You live and breathe your stories, feel as if you are your characters and you live in your world, and itch for the keyboard or pen every moment you're way from it. It's an amazing feeling, it's so, so easy to embrace it at the cost of everything else. Things you were once into suddenly seem like a waste of time because The Book is all that matters.

And then comes the work that goes with The Book. The revising, the querying/submitting, the marketing... Being an author really is a full-time job, and for most of us, we're trying to do that on top of a day job (not to mention family and social commitments, for those who have them). Again, anything else seems like a waste of time.

But the problem is, when The Book becomes everything and all things, it's easy to start feeling like one's worth is tied to The Book and how it does. And unfortunately, that's not something we can control. Oh, we can write beautiful words and even pay professionals to make them beautiful-er. But that doesn't mean The Powers That Be will want to buy the beautiful-ness. And even if they do, that doesn't mean the readers will appreciate and spend money on the thing-of-true-beauty. Even if you spend all your time and energy (and maybe money) on getting it front of your faces. Publishing often feels like a lottery, one in which more time/effort/money/talent/connections can buy you extra entries, but can't guarantee a win.

So it's important to be able to step back now and then and enjoy things that have nothing whatsoever to do with The Book. Things that are utterly unproductive in a professional sense, and that ideally have nothing whatsoever to do with your sense of self worth. In other words, hobbies.

Now, I don't mean those X-TREME hobbies that seem to have taken over the world lately. Where it's not enough to just like running; you have to be training for a marathon. Or where it's not enough to be good at make-up; you have to run a beauty blog with an accompanying YouTube account. No, I mean hobbies you engage in just for the hell of it. That you know you'll never be "good" at, that you don't want to be "good" at. Baking because you like making sweet treats, not because you want to go on the Great British Baking Show. Doing yoga because it relaxes you, not because you want to become famous on Instagram because of how fabulous you look.

In other words, hobbies you're totally mediocre at, and that you're okay with being mediocre at.

Me? I've had a lot of hobbies over the years, and I dropped them all for a period of time because I wanted to live and breathe books all day. Now, I'm back into it, and it's much easier to accept a writing funk when you've got other things to fill your time (I still spend way too much time watching TV and napping, but at least it isn't *all* the time). Currently, my hobbies of choice are choir (I'm an ensemble singer through and through and have zero desire for a solo), kickboxing (for workout purposes only right now; don't care about being competitive), and aerial silks (I really, really suck, and it's not like I was ever going to join Cirque du Soleil or anything). The nice thing about all of these is that they all force my brain way from whatever worries I have--about writing or otherwise (it's really hard to let your mind wander when you're dangling by your arms trying to loop a piece of fabric around your foot so you can stand up mid-air).

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Mary Fan 🐲 范诗蓉 (@astralcolt) on Nov 28, 2018 at 9:43pm PST

(I'm that tiny blur in the back row about six from the left)

What about you? What do you do to get away from the world of writing?

An Old Dog in a Social World

After about four years of this writing gig, I seem to be socially stuck. Yep, I can finally admit that my social game is in a pit of quicksand that exists right smack in the middle of:

AND

I’m no stranger to stepping out of my comfort zone. If I never stepped out then I never would have published a book, let alone three. I have an undergraduate degree in Mechanical Engineering, a Masters in Business, and I spent 17 years climbing the corporate ladder before publishing my first book. Writing and publishing that first book was so outside my comfort zone that in my first post here on Across the Board I talked about how it was scarier than jumping out of a plane.

But when it comes to social media, I’m an old dog. If you don’t believe me, I was in college when email was an ‘innovative’ thing. It was so exciting to get an email address and connect with people through the computer! Mind. Blown. Of course, most common people didn’t have personal computers at that time so you couldn’t check your electronic inbox until your scheduled time at the computer lab. But that just made it as exciting as waiting for those yellow slips to show up in your mailbox letting you know you had a package to collect.

Now we live in a time where my 12-year-old has more Instagram followers than me (and she’s only had access to it for less than a year) and email is so old school.

I’ve read the articles that tell you how to do good social media marketing. I’ve read about the best ways to connect to build your platform—and I can easily recognize when others do it to me. For simplicity, I bucket them into three categories:

The Soft Connection:

This is when I get random comments of “Great pic! Thanks for sharing!” or some similar sentiment. I know they are leaving a nice comment on my post in the simple hope that I will click on their profile and follow them.

The Medium Connection:

This is when someone leaves the random comment from the Soft Connection AND they follow you first. It’s as though they’re saying “I’m being nice and I’m going to stick around, so how about you give back?”

The Hard Connection:

This is when someone straight out asks me to follow them because we’re all in this together and need to support each other.

I don’t really have any issues with any of these approaches, although I’ll admit to being a bit more drawn to those who fall in the Medium Connection category.

But here’s the thing: I haven’t been able to look at my social media venues as straight up book marketing tools. I know some of you might be thinking that statement means I’m looking at it wrong. That doing it right means showing my personal life as well as my book life. And I totally agree. I can keep posting about my books and my life, however, if I start randomly following and commenting on twenty random posts/accounts a day in the hopes that I’d get five in return, then I’m still only doing it for the business.

I know that being ‘old’ is not an excuse for being able to adapt successfully to the social media trend. I’ve seen several people older than me do an amazing job of building a robust social media platform. So this is where the comfort zone part comes in. I’m just not comfortable doing it any other way than what feels genuine to who I am—and I’m not someone who randomly follows people just because I want to pull the attention back to myself.  I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with it if that’s what you’re doing. Many times I’m super jealous that I can’t do it that way. It’s just not me, and I have a very hard time sounding sincere when I’m doing something that isn’t genuine to who I am as a person. And I’m old enough to know that going that route will certainly backfire in my face.

So here I am, an old dog trying to find a way to at least nudge a toe outside my social comfort zone because I do know that it’s important to the long-term success of my writing life. I will say that I do like when people leave comments showing they actually read and connected to my post. It means they were at least paying attention enough to give a thoughtful comment rather than a ‘one comment fits all’ approach. Maybe I’ll create a new category—The Genuine Medium Connection—and shoot for that. Compromise is the spice of life after all, right?

How about you—is there any place where you feel stuck?

~ Carrie