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Thursday, July 20, 2023

Underused Monsters in Film

So, I love a good Creature Feature. My favorite kind of horror movie involves something of the predatory kind attacking humans in the scariest and most savage ways. I guess it's because I'm an animal lover, and people are just kind of...meh. 

There are all your classic monsters: werewolves, giant snakes, killer sharks, rabid dogs, and even aliens, but there are a few monsters on my list that have yet to see a decent portrayal on the big screen, and I'm here to bitch about it. I know there are movies out there involving these monsters, but there simply just aren't enough, or they're not very good. These are the monsters I want to see in more movies.

 

The Loch Ness Monster

Sure, there are a few Nessie movies out there. Most of them involve kids and a friendly misunderstood beastie of some sort. I have been wanting an updated, more viscious version of Nessie all my life. When I heard they were making Steve Alten's book 'The Loch' into a film, I was ecstatic. They have yet to deliver, and I'm still waiting...kind of like how we're still waiting for a good lake monster photo.

The Fae

I know what you're going to say, 'Leperchaun' is technically part of the Fae category. There have been several movies involving evil fairy-type creatures out there. We had 'Maleficent' a few years ago, and more than enough variations of the Tooth Fairy. I want one that is based on the real lore of the Fae folk, preferably based in Appalachia. I want a fairy movie that will make you forget all about 'Fern Gully'.

Ice Age Animals

I hate to say it, but I'm burned out on dinosaur movies. There are so many dinosaur movies. Most of them are low-quality. The one and only exception is the Jurassic Park franchise. Dinosaurs are as played out as sharks. We don't have any mainstream movies involving creatures from the Ice Age. Sabretooth cats, beardogs, dire wolves, the list goes on. There are a myriad of terrifying ancient mammals out there just waiting to rip into some tender human flesh. With today's advances in CGI, a Jurassic Park quality film involving Ice Age animals would be great right about now.


I've got more. I've got PLENTY more. Call me, Hollywood!

 

Stay Weird.


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