Working in the Coal Mine

Recently, one of those social media prompts went around. You know the ones. "Type in the year you turned 18 in the GIF bar and post the result!" "What was the #1 song the day you were born?" This one was "List five jobs you've had." And since I am stuck for something to write about this month, I thought that would be a fun one to expand on for a post. 

 Here's five jobs I've had. I'm defining job here as "something I got paid to do." And to make it extra fun, none of these are going to be related to my career as a theatre professional. Just many of the various things I've done along the way. 

Movie Extra: When I was 10, a friend of one of my friend's parents was making an educational film about the legal system, and the hook was "what happens if your kid breaks a neighbor's window playing baseball?" I got to play second base, so I got to look up as the ball soared over my head. The window smashing would be added in post. 

Like this, only with better production values.

I got paid a crisp dollar bill for my labors, which I probably spent on Spider-Man comics or Star Wars trading cards,  since both of those cost about 35 cents at the time. (I'm old, kids! Come, gather 'round! I have stories!)

Door-to-Door Encyclopedia Salesman: Hey, did you ever watch Glengarry Glen Ross and think "That looks like fun!" No? Well neither did I, yet I needed a summer job during a recession so I wound up trying to sell encyclopedias on commission at the dawn on the internet age. It was like trying to get those last few buggy whips out the door as the Ford assembly line started up. 

Something Mamet got very right in that play was the absolute seething resentment the unsuccessful salesmen have for the top sellers. I know this, because I was not a good salesman. I sold one set all summer, and if you weren't good, you got treated like crap by the better sales teams. Absolutely hated this job! I'm glad the internet and Wikipedia stomped it out!

Buffalo Wing Chef: 

And in Buffalo, NY no less, so you know I'm the real deal. Would you like to know the secret to our authentic Buffalo wings? You all seem like good kids, so I'll tell you the recipe we used in the SUNY at Buffalo cafeteria:

1) Drop raw chicken wings in hot oil for 10 minutes

2) Make the sauce. If you want hot, just use straight Frank's Red Hot. If you want it milder, cut the hot sauce with melted butter. Mix well!

3) Pour sauce over wings, and shake until the wings are coated. 

4) Serve with blue cheese, celery and carrot sticks. (No ranch! If you want ranch on your wings, move back to Wisconsin.)

So just remember: "Authentic" buffalo sauce is usually just Frank's Red Hot. Some places will spiff it up, but that's the base. 

Film Projectionist: Back in college, we still showed actual 35mm prints of movies, and it was my job to assemble them. "Assemble" here means, take the six or so individual reels of film (a reel being about 20 min of screen time) and combine them into one large reel. We had what was called a "platter" system at the theatre, where the films sat on a large plate and were then fed through the projector and onto another large plate where they would be rewound after the screening. When you assembled them, you had to run every inch of film between your fingers to check for cracks and splits in the film strip. If the sprocket holes were torn or broken, it could jump the gate and pop out of the projector. And, because it was now one long reel, it was extremely difficult to restart it.) New films were fine, but older rep movies were very brittle. Not only did they have a lot of cracks, they also had a ton of static electricity. I got SO MANY shocks from checking the print of Rear Window. 

Here's a fun projectionist fact: sometimes you'll see a little dot in the upper corner of the screen. This is the reel change warning. The first dot is a ten second warning, and the second is a one second warning. It's quite the trick to get this to line up! After the first dot, you start the second projector so it gets up to speed, then at the second dot you open the shutter on the second projector and close it on the first. Oh, and don't forget the sound! Nowadays most theatres use video projection rather than actual reels, so these dots are rarer to see. Still, they pop up now and then, particularly on old video transfers on TV. So if you do see one on the late show, you'll know what it is. 

Here's a compilation of some film reel cues to show you some examples.

And here's a projectionist in action:

Production Assistant at PBS Buffalo:  More adventures in Buffalo! This was one of the lowest, entry level jobs I got when I was breaking into the biz. PBS Buffalo barely did any production, so we were mainly called in to do camera for the pledge weeks. Yay! Everyone's least favorite part of the public broadcasting experience! We got paid a miserly $5 an hour to follow the hosts around the studio, trying to keep them frames up so that the banners on the sides of the screen wouldn't block their faces. Which was harder than it sounds! Often they would start to walk across the room and then suddenly stop, so your nice, smooth pan would have to herky-jerk to a stop and reframe them. 

Here's a clip of one of the pledge breaks. This is after I worked there, but the host is the same. I remember a friend in Buffalo sent me a "You know you're a true Buffalonian" list, and one of the entries was "You reflexively turn the channel when you hear the words 'Hi, I'm Goldie Gardner!"

Anyway, that's a brief run down of some of the crappy jobs that have made me who I am today. A sarcastic person who contributes to blogs. 

Have a good weekend, everyone! Don't work too hard!

Play us out, Lee!