I tried to get an AI to write my book. It didn't go well.

Sometimes, I feel like an AI. Taking inputs from the world around you and regurgitating what you think your audience wants to see and hear - that's, like, every day at my corporate day job. Especially since I work in marketing. I can't tell you the amount of buzzword-laden nonsense I've had to pump out.

So far from being afraid of being replaced by an AI, I say, let the machines have that crap. I don't wanna do it anyway.

Something else I don't really like doing is writing first drafts. Nothing scares me more than a blank page, and often, I wish I could just do the outlining / plotting part and then have someone - or something - else write the first draft for me. Then I'd rewrite it all in revisions, which, unlike a lot of writers, I actually like doing more than writing the first draft. It's like, give me something to work with, you know?

I've spent the past month or so trying to come up with a plot for the third and final book in my Flynn Nightsider dark fantasy series, and I've spent the bulk of it completely, utterly, thoroughly stuck. Turns out, it's hard to end a saga you started working on 11 years ago when you've changed your mind about the whole series' arc and purposely wrote yourself into a hole after Book 2 because it was the most interesting ending you could think of. 

While I was banging my head against the proverbial wall trying to figure out this damn book, I kept seeing article after article after article about how good ChatGPT, the AI text generator, is getting, and how it's going to replace us.

Okay, fine, I thought. I can't seem to get this book written anyway. Let's see what the machine can do.

I started by feeding it the most basic information about where I left off with Flynn: that he's a teenaged boy looking to take down an immortal wizard of sorts (since I didn't know if I could train the AI to learn all my little world-building details, I left it at that). Then I told it a few other details, told it that I needed a plot twist, and let it come up with a synopsis then write the first few paragraphs of the story in the style of a young adult novel.

Yeah, here's what I got:

I stand before the towering castle gates, my heart pounding with fear and determination. I know that inside lies Zoltar the Eternal, the immortal wizard who started the war and took my family from me. But I also know that I am the only one who can stop him and put an end to his evil plans. I've heard stories of his immense power and his ability to manipulate death and souls. I take a deep breath and steel myself for what's to come. I am ready to face Zoltar and bring an end to this war, no matter what the cost.

I push open the heavy castle doors and step inside. The grand hall is empty, but I can feel eyes on me, watching my every move. I call out "Zoltar! I've come to stop you and put an end to your evil plans!" My voice echoes through the hall, but there is no response. I start to walk deeper into the castle, my hand on the hilt of my sword, ready for any attack. Suddenly, a voice booms out "You are brave, young one, but you are also foolish." I turn to see Zoltar standing at the end of the hall, a smirk on his face. "You think you can defeat me? I have been alive for centuries and have defeated greater warriors than you." I take a deep breath and reply "Maybe so, but I have something you don't, a reason to fight. I will stop you, for my family and for the people of this land."

ZOLTAR. THE. ETERNAL.

Yeah, halfway through laughing my head off, I told it to introduce a female character (a stand-in for Aurelia) just to see what would happen. Here we go...

I square my shoulders and prepare for battle, but then I hear a voice behind me. "Wait, Flynn! You can't fight him alone!" I turn to see a young woman, her hair pulled back in a ponytail and her eyes fierce with determination. "I'm here to help you," she says. "My name is Lila, and I'm a powerful sorcerer. Together, we can defeat Zoltar and end this war." I nod, grateful for the unexpected help. "Thank you, Lila," I say. "I'm ready when you are." Lila nods and we both start to walk towards Zoltar, ready to face him together.

"I have my own reasons for wanting to defeat Zoltar," Lila said, as we approached the immortal wizard. "My family was also taken by this war, and I won't rest until justice is served." I nod, understanding her pain and determination. "But that's not all," she continued. "I've been studying the ancient texts and I discovered that Zoltar is not just a tyrant, he is also the key to unlocking a greater evil that threatens to destroy the world. We have to stop him, not just for our own sake, but for the sake of all humanity." I look at Lila, impressed by her knowledge and determination. "Then we'll do this together," I said, gripping my sword tighter. "We'll stop Zoltar and save the world."

Wow. Such compelling writing. I told it to continue and describe the characters:

As we stood before Zoltar, I took a moment to take in my surroundings. The castle was grand and imposing, but it was also dark and foreboding. Zoltar himself was a tall, thin figure, with long white hair and piercing blue eyes. He wore a long black robe and held a staff that seemed to glow with an otherworldly light. I couldn't help but feel a shiver run down my spine as I looked at him. I may have been a young man, with a strong build and short brown hair, but I knew that I couldn't take him on alone. I was grateful to have Lila by my side, her small frame belied her powerful abilities as a sorcerer. Together, we would defeat Zoltar and bring an end to his reign of terror.

Without hesitation, Lila and I charged towards Zoltar, ready to engage in battle. Zoltar sneered at us and raised his staff, unleashing a powerful blast of energy. Lila quickly conjured a shield to protect us and I lunged forward with my sword. Zoltar was fast and powerful, but we were determined and fought with all our might. We exchanged blows and spells, each one trying to gain the upper hand. The battle was intense and it seemed as if it would never end, but we kept fighting, knowing that the fate of the world rested on our shoulders.

Still literally LOLing, I told it to introduce a plot twist:

Just as we thought we had the upper hand, Zoltar revealed his true intentions. "You fools!" he exclaimed. "You think you can defeat me? I am just a pawn in this game, a tool for the true enemy." With these words, he disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving us confused and bewildered. Lila and I looked at each other, trying to process this revelation. "What does he mean?" Lila asked, her voice filled with uncertainty. "I don't know," I replied, "but we have to find out. We have to discover who the true enemy is and stop them before it's too late." With renewed determination, we set off on a new quest, not knowing what challenges and twists lay ahead.

Riveting fiction, right?? Wellp, this exercise was useful in one way: I'm 125% sure that whatever I come up with will be better than the tale of ZOLTAR THE ETERNAL.

Just for fun, I also told the AI to give me a title and back cover blurb. Who wouldn't read this masterpiece???

Are you ready for an epic adventure filled with action, mystery, and betrayal? "The Immortal's Gambit" takes you on a journey with Flynn, a young warrior who joins the army to seek revenge for the loss of his family. But as he rises through the ranks, he discovers that the war is not what it seems and the immortal wizard who started it holds the key to a greater evil that threatens to destroy the world. Together with a powerful sorcerer, Lila, Flynn embarks on a quest to uncover the truth and stop the true enemy before it's too late. Get ready for a thrilling ride filled with magic, battles, and unexpected twists that will keep you on the edge of your seat. Don't miss "The Immortal's Gambit" a tale of war, betrayal and redemption.