Google Search: Why is Mary...?

Hey everyone! Mary here, and it's my turn to do a Google Search. Now, for those of y'all who aren't familiar, Google Search is a semi-regular recurring segment of ours here on Across the Board. It's evolved over the years, and we all give it our own spin. It's also been a million years since I've done one, so I don't recall exactly how it works. One thing I do remember, though, is that I like to have fun with this segment by typing the beginning of a question into Google, looking at the autofill results, and answering said questions with all my knowledge and wisdom.

So that's what I'm going to do today. And I decided I'd answer questions on a topic I'm very familiar with: Me! So here I am to answer the question: Why is Mary...?

Here's what Google served up... let's see...

Why is Mary back on In the Kitchen with David?

I assure you, I am not. I am absolutely terrible at anything involving the kitchen except maybe grabbing pre-cooked food from the fridge and shoving it in the microwave.

Why is Mary so mean to Edith?

Edith knows what she did ;-)

Why is Mary Wollstonecraft important?

Because one of these days I'm going to use Mary Wollstonecraft as a pseudonym and then Google will be really confused :-P

Why is Mary a saint?

Because I have a high-tech alien device that implants peoples' minds with ideas about what a good, wonderful person I am!

Why is Mary Warren afraid of Abigail?

Ah, see, Mary Warren is my vampire pseudonym, the name I use around my fellow vampires, and Abigail is a garlic farmer.

Why is Mary called Bloody Mary?

Because I'm always tripping on the sidewalk and getting bloody knees for my troubles.

Why is Mary Queen of Scots famous?

Because she shares a first name with me, duh.

Why is Mary Anning famous?

See above.

Why is Mary Prince important?

Because, in the old time-y tradition of Theoden King, "Prince" actually refers to my title. Won't tell you where my kingdom is but I assure you, I spend quite a bit of time leading it. That's why I haven't finished writing my latest short story yet... totally not because I'm faffing around on this blog...

Why is Mary important?

Because I write the best YA sci-fi/fantasy books in the world, full of girls who fight monsters and heroines who take down evil, and you can check them all out on my website! #SeeWhatIDidThere