Modern life is the pits: struggling during a pandemic

Greetings, everyone.

This post might read like the anxiety-ridden stream of consciousness that is currently swarming my insides. Today, for the first time since quarantine, I actually cried standing at my kitchen counter. My anxiety is peaking and we haven't even hit the mid-way point through all this yet. I am on edge. Everyone in my house annoys me.

I haven't really been able to write through all this. I know most authors are struggling to get words down. But, just the idea of an interruption, which is guaranteed in a house with three kids, makes it impossible to open my Scrivener app.

My kids are always around and my husband suggested we get them on a routine since distance schooling officially starts Monday. And by we, he means me because he is working from home and can't be disturbed. But since my job is part-time, I am the constant caretaker of everything--just like normal except I can't escape this house.

I'm supposed to be teaching remotely on Monday as well but I've annoyed my students so much with texting them instructions on how to accomplish this--and without any guidance from the community college--that they've stopped reading my messages. I'm trying not to worry about it. But I'm worried. So there's that.

I've gained weight too. So that's fun.

I know I should feel grateful that my family is safe and healthy and my husband still has a job, and I am. But I am also struggling to cope. That's the reality. I am grateful and irritable and angry and defeated. I can be all those things and still be grateful.

Modern living is difficult on its best day, let alone during a global pandemic.

How is everyone?