tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1020653850161663700.post7078925086903284161..comments2024-03-25T03:14:46.787-04:00Comments on Across the Board: "Big Little Lies," or What's My Problem With Chick Lit?Stephen Kozeniewskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15185600045044927669noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1020653850161663700.post-58698665111124572122017-12-19T20:19:19.596-05:002017-12-19T20:19:19.596-05:00Abigail, I see the changing feelings about femalen...Abigail, I see the changing feelings about femaleness seeping through the lines of this post. It is difficult to review a book let alone take on the challenging review of oneself. I suppose that is why I love writing, I discover things about myself hidden in-between the lines. Sometimes when we are so close to the subject we are blinded by proximity. Be gentle on yourself, you've doing "universes better socially and emotionally," and that's a very good thing. Box up 2017 and stick her in the rafters, we have 2018 to open, a whole new adventure. I look forward to your next update! Cheryl Oregliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02657919028961977905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1020653850161663700.post-56845343655553560092017-12-19T12:14:40.120-05:002017-12-19T12:14:40.120-05:00I'm sorry Brenda, I agree it was a sloppy revi...I'm sorry Brenda, I agree it was a sloppy review (I've just come off a week of a stomach bug going through four kids plus finals birthdays and holidays) and I didn't get my point across like I wanted to. I meant for this post to be more a reflection on my changing feelings about femaleness and women and relationships with women. As I said, growing up I had very few female friends, which in retrospect likely had less to do with me not identifying with girls and women and more to do with my family turmoil and socioeconomic status being something of an anomaly at our tony suburban white bread school. Koz can back me up here, he was there. But I didn't understand that, didn't realize I was poor and going through trauma my classmates didn't understand, and just thought it was that I wasn't a normal girl. <br /><br />I'm also a few years out of a decade spent in total social isolation, where I was desperate for companionship and sisterhood. I got married and started having babies much much earlier than anyone else I knew, and all I wanted was to feel like I belonged with other women, wives and moms, but I never seemed to be able to meet any. So my main window into married motherhood was online mom forums, which were problematic in ways I don't need to go into here, and chick lit. I actually did find some chick lit I enjoyed, specifically Jennifer Weiner, but most of the time I read it I was filled with despair that my own experience of womanhood, of wifedom and motherhood, was so far off from what was going on in these books. They left me feeling like a freak, like I'd never belong anywhere with other women. Moreover, there's a frequent theme in chick lit books that I've read (and online mom forums too) of the "mommy wars," where women are harshly judging each others' every minute mothering decision. I couldn't even find another mom to talk to in real life, so to think that if I did find one that she'd instantly be quietly ripping me apart in judgment in a way that I wouldn't even be able to comprehend terrified me. <br /><br />So I developed the childish defense mechanism of deriding and rejecting the entire genre, and in many ways my own gender as well. This is what I was trying and obviously failing to convey in my post - that I am examining my own views and behaviors of the past and realizing that yes, this type of writing isn't my cup of tea, but it doesn't mean I don't like women and that I'd never fit in with any group of women, and that it is a good genre that is entertaining, empowering and enlightening to many. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04430415330405720018noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1020653850161663700.post-83780897962110849342017-12-19T03:26:23.064-05:002017-12-19T03:26:23.064-05:00This feels an awful lot to me like genre bashing -...This feels an awful lot to me like genre bashing -- not only the book, itself, but the people who read and enjoy it. As a reader and writer of books that fall into the chick lit category, my hackles are up -- and not only b/c you base your assessment of an entire category of books on one book that you half-read in this post -- but because even your (grudging) admission that although this type of writing isn't your cup of tea but (perhaps) has value, is a backhanded compliment at best.Brenda St John Brownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01995664320021950254noreply@blogger.com