tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1020653850161663700.post7040218776863750935..comments2024-03-25T03:14:46.787-04:00Comments on Across the Board: Eeek! Put Some Pages Up For Critique!Stephen Kozeniewskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15185600045044927669noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1020653850161663700.post-3265188757831475762015-10-06T12:23:42.312-04:002015-10-06T12:23:42.312-04:00Wow! Thank you for that. I can totally see how tha...Wow! Thank you for that. I can totally see how that's confusing, but I would have never seen it before you pointed it out. I was thinking of the all-in-one type of bathroom/shower room with toilets on one side and showers on the other, but then that poses the dilemma about the door leading to the outside. I'll need to rework that a bit and/or think about the physical set-up. In my head, it's a smaller truck stop, so not one of those huge ones you sometimes see by the side of the road with actual "facilities"...more just a shop and a lot where truckers can park for overnight.<br /><br />Also, the diesel engine business? Someday we have to talk about the transition from that to writing. :)Brenda St John Brownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01995664320021950254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1020653850161663700.post-69402893581146459212015-10-05T20:57:56.307-04:002015-10-05T20:57:56.307-04:00Love it, Brenda! I'm with Kimberly - I want to...Love it, Brenda! I'm with Kimberly - I want to know more.<br /><br />The only thing for me is that I found it a bit difficult to picture the setting. Is she in a bathroom or the shower stall? Is it a joint system (both shower and toilet together)? If it's an official 'truck stop' rather than gas station, then even if there aren't many lady truckers usually that the showers are separate from the bathrooms. It's the trucker's way to get some peace and not have to share the shower with those just coming in to use the toilet. I know some of this after 17 years in the diesel engine business... Not saying it's not possible - especially if Sal's place is small. And if it is just the shower and not the bathroom too, then I'm not sure a 3rd grader would have a chance to write something on the wall in crayon. Because (1) I'm not sure Sal would let a 3rd grader have the key to the showers - the bathroom, yes. So if it's a joint system no issue, or I suppose the 3rd grader could have gone in with her mother. But then (2) How many locals would actually be using the shower at the truck stop? Also at first I thought she stepped out into a hall (ie the entrance to the showers was inside the truck stop), but then a few paragraphs later Jimmy mentions the breeze so I realized the door lead to the outside. These aren't big things and it certainly didn't detract my enjoyment, just wanted to mention it.Carrie Beckorthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04324065022504846662noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1020653850161663700.post-88624551488150350982015-10-05T17:20:42.558-04:002015-10-05T17:20:42.558-04:00Oh, thank you! It's still very much a work in ...Oh, thank you! It's still very much a work in progress, but I have a real soft spot for Jimmy.Brenda St John Brownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01995664320021950254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1020653850161663700.post-58838607900471926642015-10-05T13:41:14.845-04:002015-10-05T13:41:14.845-04:00This voice! The narrative voice is amazing. Don...This voice! The narrative voice is amazing. Don't change it. I don't have criticism -- I just want to see where this is going. Kimberly G. Giarratanohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03983330164849240374noreply@blogger.com